What Do You Tell Yourself that Keeps You Stuck?
“It’s too complicated.”
By now you know that I focus on getting unstuck and moving forward in life--because I've needed it so much in my own life. And I've seen it in the lives of my friends, family, and clients.
I understand what it means get stuck in grief after the loss of a love relationship whether through death, divorce, or separation. I know what it feels like to be in a job that doesn’t fit, but you still need to pay the bills. Or, how it feels to be frozen with fear at taking a step that might snowball in ways you can’t control or know what will happen. Aargh!
So often, we stay stuck because it all seems too complicated to figure out.
“It’s too complicated,” we tell ourselves. And since we can’t figure out every detail in the future, we give up and do nothing. But doing nothing keeps you in the same mudpuddle.
Instead, take a look back at your life and see all the things you DID figure out because you took an action that needed to be taken. Then, smile and be grateful. If you truly want to make a change and take an action that will lead to change, you only need to know the next step—not the whole picture. You are responsible for only that and let Spirit work on the rest of the how and what.
You can be free of the feelings and the unhelpful beliefs that hold you back!
When I lived in Baltimore, I decided to flip a house for profit (you can laugh now; it didn’t work too well, but I learned a lot). What I learned is that with every weird thing that happened that I couldn’t figure out, an answer would come. Eventually, I had enough names of tradespeople and city officials to help me deal with the next weird event. I learned to calm my fears and the wringing of hands, because I had enough of the right contacts so I could figure out how to handle the next thing that would happen—because it always did! It was the agony and anticipation that were more painful than the actual weird events.
(I do wish I had known about releasing blocked energies back then.)
I’ve found this applies to my life here in Malaysia, too, on big things and little things. Like, how do I pay my electric bill that is written in a language I don’t understand? I was so stuck in being afraid that I would never get it paid and they’d turn off my electricity or they’d run me out of the country because….(you get the picture)…!! Oh, my, oh, my, what would I do?!, I thought.
It took me days to practice opening up the online version of my Malaysian bank account. I practiced pushing buttons on the thing-a-ma-jig the bank gave me for security purposes. Then, I’d close it up and have tea. I needed a break.
By this time, I knew enough to clear some energy blockages on myself. Then, I’d go back and open up the online bank account and start the process again. This time, I could go further and more quickly. Eventually I found the button that said “pay bills,” “add payee,” and found the drop down menu with words that matched the words on my electric bill. And, voila, I pushed more buttons and paid the bill. I did it!
No one was there to celebrate with me, but I felt great that I had conquered something that was “too complicated” for me to face. It took me a few tries, and I practiced each step until I could take the next step. Yes, I had some frustration (ha!), but I wanted to prove to myself that I could establish my life here in Malaysia and make it work.
I realize this isn’t about a major life decision or great pain—but it did touch my feelings of fear that I wouldn’t be able to cope in a new country. It touched my confidence in myself, my sense of independence and competence, and my ability to figure things out.
I worked on myself through energy release to get myself unstuck and able to face that new online banking system again. I practiced my habits of breathing, giving myself space to fail and try again, and persistence. And it came together—and now I have automatic payments set up and I don’t have to worry about any of it.
This stuff works.
Certified Body Code Practitioner, life coach and energy healer, former non-profit executive with years of experience in caring for and about people and their place in this world. Friend of refugees and immigrants, ally to the addiction recovery community--all with respect, love, and compassion for mutual healing.