Now, openly expressing your negative feelings doesn’t mean you should go around putting others down and it also doesn’t mean finger wagging or accusing. Instead, find a more constructive way to get things off your chest. You might find it’s best for you to write your feelings down, wait a day or so, review your email for tone, and send them off in an e-mail. If you have the creative ability, write a poem or a song about your feelings. Whatever you do, focus on the problem, not the person. After all, we all make mistakes!
If you think you can’t be that open about your feelings, always express what you are thankful for first. For example, you can start with a positive compliment then gradually express your frustrations.
Remember to feel the gratitude even if you want to “feel” your hurt or anger. The higher vibrational energies of gratitude and love will help calm a more explosive version of your hurt.
If you feel like you have nothing to be grateful for, keep looking further. There are plenty of joys within your life that your negative emotions often disguise. For example, did you have a nourishing breakfast this morning? Then you have something to be thankful for! Have you ever had a rewarding conversation with a loved one that made you see them with new eyes? Then you have something to be thankful for!
Focus on these positive, rewarding experiences first and foremost, then express your feelings openly and honestly. With an attitude of gratitude for all that you have, you will feel confident in your right to express how you feel.
In his poem, why did Blake readily tell his anger to his friend? He cared about his friend and was grateful to have him, so he wanted to diffuse his anger right away. However, when it came to Blake’s foe, he was not so grateful and, instead, suffered greatly as the bitterness and anger became a poison tree within his soul.
Remember, your spirit remains within you and affects how you think, feel, and act. So seek peace within your heart and mind with the power of gratitude!
To our healing,
Don’t Plant the Poison Tree Seed
When you conceal your true feelings, there’s an internal pressure that causes negative emotions like anger, resentment, fear, and hatred to swell up and take on more potential energy within you. The day always comes when those emotions explode outward because of the pressure.
When this happens you might say things you don’t mean that may cause deep pain to those you love the most (I sure did). The possible negative actions and reactions that stem from your suppressed feelings could fill an entire notebook, which is all the more reason to express your feelings peacefully!
By honestly expressing your feelings you can diffuse the negative energy and immediately start feeling more peace within you. After all, you’ll feel less stress, tension, and anger when all feelings are put out on the table. Expressing your feelings constructively will help you speak more sensitively and rationally and see the good within others.
I’ve chosen to work a lot with emotional baggage, my own and those of my clients. I do it because I realized at a later time in my life that I had no clue on how to both honor my emotions, release what hurt, and speak without hurting others. It was part of the codependence that I grew up in and continued throughout my early family life. Every once in a while, when push comes to shove, I can still feel those old habits rise to the surface.
But I work on it every day. I can choose my thoughts and choose to change! And so do my clients as we figure out a new way to live.
Here’s some of what I’ve learned, and I hope it helps you, too.
Express Your Feelings Peacefully with the Help of Gratitude
In his poem, A Poison Tree, the great poet William Blake wrote, “I was angry with my friend. I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe. I told it not, my wrath did grow.”
When you suppress your feelings, both positive and negative ones, you’re keeping yourself from being all that you can be. Not only that but if you internalize your emotions, you are growing into the very same ‘poisoned tree’ that William Blake wrote about.
I remember a pastor talk about not letting a bitter root grow up inside you. I knew that I had one, but I didn’t fully know what to do about that bitter root.
After a divorce and a chance to do some introspection and counseling, I learned more about using different communication styles that would do less harm while still letting me say what I needed to say.
But it wasn’t until I learned about the energetic release of trapped emotions that it really came together.
By practicing gratitude every day, I’m learning more about how to release those bitter roots that have been stuck inside me for years. Even without my knowledge, I have kept certain unhealthy beliefs or reactions tucked away inside. I didn’t want that. And neither do my clients.
Certified Body Code Practitioner, life coach and energy healer, former non-profit executive with years of experience in caring for and about people and their place in this world. Friend of refugees and immigrants, ally to the addiction recovery community--all with respect, love, and compassion for mutual healing.